The fast-paced world we have created has brainwashed us into believing that it is our duty and obligation to work hard and give of ourselves constantly, 24/7 if possible, to prove our value and usefulness. Some of us, myself included, all too often drive ourselves so hard that we find ourselves close to the brink of exhaustion, or even worse, a burnout. By no means am I implying that hard work is the devil, of course not. We should give our 110% to everything we do if we want our work to have some sort of meaningful impact, I live by this motto. But having found myself exhausted to the extent I felt all energy had left my body, more often than I care to admit here, I decided something had to change.
I found that balance is key. Yes, give all of you, your passion, your energy when at work or a project but counter that with moments that are more centered around your well-being, your joy, your happiness. It's not selfish, it's self-love. Again, drawing from my own rather painful experience, if you do not love yourself enough, you're always going to find yourself at the mercy of the whims and demands of society, your parents, your boss, your spouse, you name it.Turn that around by making the conscious choice to counter that with fierce self-love. Prioritise yourself and give yourself all that which you're so generously giving to others. Gift your body and soul the things they require, so that,when you get back to work mode, you can function at the most optimal level possible. The world will be better for it.
There are numerous ways to practise self-care and self-love and they are as many as the people on this planet. Each of us is wonderfully unique, so there is no one-size-fits-all method. Each one of us has their own special needs that need to be met and satisfied in an equally unique manner. The practices I am outlining below are therefore not to be used as some sort of rule book.I myself have applied them to my life, some I kept, some not. Of course,I need to point put that it also depends on the phase you currently find yourself in. Not everything will be appropriate for this particular phase in your life.So, if you feel yourself drawn to one or more of those practices, feel free to try them out or apply them to your particular way of living, and let the others go. It's as simple as that.
For the sake of functionality I've divided the self-love practices into four categories, physical well-being, emotional well-being, mental- well being and spiritual well-being. You'll find that in many cases they overlap, which is natural considering the miraculous complexity of the human being. Let's take a closer look.
Physical well-being: Our bodies need a lot of love in order to be of service to us and our cause but also to make it that much easier for us to enjoy life to the fullest. A body that is drained does not do anyone any good, rather it will revolt against you and cause all manner of illness, stress, panic attacks, anything to get your attention to the fact that it was all just too much. Learn to listen to your body and give it the care that it needs in that particular moment.So, what can you do?
1.Proper nourishment."Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food".These all too well known words that are attributed to Hippocrates, emphasise the importance of consuming wholesome, natural and organic foods that nourish our bodies and provide the fuel for optimal body function. Avoid all junk foods, sugar, microwave, ready-made meals. Opt for home-made cooked food, vegetables, fruits, salads, juices and your body will thank you.
2.Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate. I can't stress this one enough. The majority of people go about their days in a near-dehydrated state, oblivious to the damage that is caused. I too, have to constantly remind myself to drink water when consumed by my daily obligations.That's why I always keep a glass of water somewhere where I see it.
The average quantity that is needed varies depending on size, body type, level of physical activity but scientists agree that the average amount of water ranges from 1,5 to 2 litres per day. So here's to your good health, drink up!
3. Optimise your sleep. It is mind-boggling how many people, so utterly overwhelmed with their daily obligations, function on less than six hours of sleep, when the agreed average by science is 8-9 hours. Add to that the factor of heightened stress, overwork and the daily worries we all carry and you have a dangerous recipe and playground for a host of illnesses and diseases that not only wreak havoc on your daily life but are also life-threatening. Choose today to optimise your sleep, make it a priority. You'll notice the difference right away.
4. Get your body moving. I have discussed the significance of daily exercise in my other posts, so I won't elaborate as much here. The human body was created to be active, not sedentary. Our modern sedentary, glued-to-your-screen lifestyle harbours nothing but negative consequences that I don't even want to dwell on. Even a short workout once a day is much more beneficial than that. So get up from the couch and get moving!
5. Breathwork or a conscious awareness of your own breath. I read somewhere that the average human does not receive the required amount of oxygen it needs because our breathing is too quick and too shallow, seeing as we are always in a frenzied state of always doing something. Breathwork is the process of deep, rhythmic breathing that gets to the parasympathetic nervous system and relaxes the body, gets it out of the fight-or -flight state. There are various methods and practices, which of course are not necessary for you to start if it's not your cup of tea. Do,however, focus on breathing deeply, fill your belly with air and take your time exhaling it out. You'll notice the difference in your energy levels right away. I recommend it wholeheartedly as it always brings me peace and a huge smile to my face.
6.Regular medical check-ups. Make it a priority to check your health once a year to ensure your body is in an optimal state of health. So many people neglect this, believing that the vague pain in their chest is nothing, it will pass they say, with deadly consequences all too often. Or they neglect yearly blood tests, mammograms etc. It is recommended that before the age of 50 visits to your doctor be once every three years. After the age of 50 it is advisable you see your doctor once a year. You think it sounds so dull or you feel you have no time for it. It's best you made the time for it or you will lose it. Good health is not always a given, it has to be earned. Better be proactive than sorry.
Emotional well-being - Humans are social beings and have the gift of feeling a huge array of emotions. The importance of emotions cannot be stressed enough, as they are the driving force behind all human actions, whether for good or evil. Emotions function as motivations to action, they help us to identify and avoid dangerous situations, are essential in our decision making, allow us to understand others and be in turn understood by them. It is essential for our emotional well-being we apply practices and routines that will allow us to be human and feel but also to keep the balance by safeguarding our sanity. Let's have a look at how to achieve that.
1.Let go of the past. This is a big one for me. I had been living trapped in the ugly stories I had been told during my childhood and adolesscence for decades. It took quite a long and rather painful journey inwards with meditation, yin yoga and journalling to start getting rid of the biggest part of it all. My point is that either through the process I described above or through any other resource of your own, make the choice to get rid of it all, all the false stories others or you yourself burdened your soul with. The past is in the past and you are doing yourself a disservice by holding on to it. Make new, encouraging and empowered stories that honour the new you and move ahead!
2. Enjoy a cup of tea or coffee. To me there are few things so comforting and relaxing at the end of a long day. Enjoyed with a good book and music or out on my blossoming balcony enjoying my own company, without needing to talk to anyone. Try the following :be mindful and relish in the moment. Engage all your senses. Smell the fragrance of the tea, savour its taste ,listen to your surroundings. Are there birds chirping? Are the crickets singing frantically? Or maybe there is blessed silence and you can surrender to it? Either ways such moments are gifts you give to yourself. Gift them to yourself as often as you can spare.
3. Meet a friend. The importance of human interaction is paramount. We are social beings and we need each other not only for any type of gain but mainly for the sheer joy and need for human contact. A discussion with a friend allows us to get our worries off our chest, regardless of whether the problem gets solved or not. It's all about being heard, the knowledge you are not alone, that someone cares enough to spend time with you and listen, truly listen. Such a rare thing these days and a great deposition in your emotional bank.
4. Laugh. Laughter is considered the greatest medicine, as it carries a host of benefits to our health and promotes a sense of general well-being. It lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormone levels, triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers.Moreover, it boosts your immune system, it does your heart a world of good and to top it all off, it is a great workout to finally get those killer abs. Watch a comedy, watch funny videos on Youtube or get together with friends and have a blast telling jokes!
Mental well-being. Mental overload is a reality a majority of us deal with and while the human brain is fully equipped to juggle tons of information, at some point you reach your limits and snap. You start messing things up, brain fog sets in, you forget stuff and it's like your brain is telling you to just take a break already or if you're more like me, on top of all the previous you have epic rage outbursts.To avoid all that, it is imperative you follow some techniques to battle your stress levels, like I described in one of my previous posts. Our mental well-being is of the utmost importance, so let's have a look at some other loving methods you could apply to safeguard it.
1.Establish firm boundaries. I confess it took me forever, almost fifty years, to establish boundaries and to finally prioritise my needs and my desires. I am almost ashamed to admit to this. But better late than never they say. So, here I am. Finally being able to be me and do things I want while at the same time respecting myself and putting myself first. If I can do it, anyone can, I have no doubt about that. Learn to say NO to other people's demands from your time more often. It's a full sentence after all, no further explanations required. If you don't want to sound as harsh, you can say" No,not now, maybe later."
2.Mindfulness practices. I discussed mindfulness practices in a previous post, so I 'll be brief. Just as a reminder, meditation is beneficial to calm an overactive brain and give you some necessary peace of mind. Yin yoga to release trapped emotions from your body, journalling to vent all those thoughts on paper- think of a journal as a friend you talk to or a boxing bag, depending on your mood (It's usually the second for me...) Praying is also a way to get rid of whatever is weighing you down and soothe your soul.
3. Read a novel or any fiction book. Reading and learning are undoubtedly a must for mental growth. When it is time though to relax, a fiction book of any genre of your liking is a great way to decompress and get your mind off your own problems. My evenings are a favourite time in the day because of this. A cup of tea and a good book....heaven!
4. Get offline. At least two hours before bedtime, allow your brain not to have to hear any more notification sounds. Better still spare yourself from the temptation to check your Facebook or Instagram feed. Turn off your notifications or better still turn off your phone entirely to ensure some necessary downtime.
Spiritual well-being. This includes a series of practices that honour our sense of purpose and meaning in life, our morals and ethics.These could potentially include religious practices, engaging actively in community work or other practices that are not of a particular religion. In any sense, all of these practices satisfy and soothe that innermost part of ourselves that others call our soul or our consciousness as others would put it. As we have discussed most of these in previous posts, I'll keep it quick.Let's have a look.
1. Meditation. As discussed before , meditation has numerous amazing health benefits. It lowers stress levels, it increases focus and boosts mental health. It does wonders for your quality of sleep,especially if you're suffering from sleepless nights.To top it off, it increases empathy and kindness towards yourself and others. Pretty cool if you ask me.
2. Engage in gratitude practices. From keeping a gratitude journal daily or doing the Ho'Oponopono gratitude prayer, it's a great way to just be appreciative of your gifts, your blessings and the people in your life. There's nothing religious about this. It's being grateful as a human being, not being so arrogant and self-serving and taking everyting for granted. Head-to-heart coherence meditations are also effective in connecting with your heart and elevating your soul.
3. Affirmations. A very effective tool to slowly but gradually transform the way you think about yourself,your potential, the people in your life and the world. I AM affirmations are not going to change you overnight but over time will give you a sense of worth you had never granted yourself before.
4. Daily acts of kindness. Little, seemingly insignificant acts of kindness towards peolpe in our close environment or bigger acts like getting involved in community work and activism are super helpful in elevating our mood and our sense of connectedness to our fellow humans and the planet. Such acts give immense joy, decrease any sense of loneliness and give meaning to our fast-paced lives. I work on daily acts of kindness every year at Christmas with my elder students and they bring such joy to the class that it usually extends to the remainder of the year too.
5. Attend a religious service. Feeling close to God, the universe, Divine Consciousness by any sort of practice or worship or even the place you choose to come close to the Divine, is every human being's right and is to be respected. Choose the one that fills your soul with joy to lift your spirit and feel a sense of fulfilment.
Well, that was a lot of information.In closing, I would like to make a request. Please, please be compassionate and loving to yourself. Your ego will surely put up a fight, reminding you that you've got things to do. Tell that little voice that it's ok, that you are in control. Grant yourself the time to take that bubble bath, the mani-pedi, the massage, read that book with your favourite tea and feel no guilt. From today on, give yourself the compassion, love and grace you so generously give to others.You deserve it!
No comments:
Post a Comment