Add Art to Life is moving

 

Dear readers,

After a very long pause and much reflection, I’ve decided to begin a new chapter in my writing life.

✨ My new blog is called Soft Edges, and it lives over on Substack — a quieter, more personal space where I’ll be writing letters and reflections on everyday beauty, emotional depth, motherhood, and gentle growth.

You can find it here: 👉 https://softedgesletters.substack.com

If you’d like to keep reading, please subscribe — it’s free, and new posts will arrive directly in your inbox!

Thank you so much for being part of the earlier chapters. I sincerely hope you’ll come with me into this new space.

As always with love and light,
Lia

Walking Your Talk: The Power of Authenticity

 

 

 

A quote I  was thinking about today is the following by Mark Sanborn:"Integrity is measured by the distance between your lips and your life."

 In a world filled where most of us speak with empty promises and hollow words, "walking your talk" stands as a pillar of true character. It's about aligning your actions with your words, living by the values you claim to espouse, and setting an example through your behavior. When you walk your talk, you build trust and credibility—not just with others, but  most importantly with yourself. It means taking responsibility, being consistent, and showing up as the person you claim to be. Remember, actions speak louder than words. The impact you make comes not from what you say, but from what you do.

It's not as easy to do of course. Our social media accounts are brimming with images of  more beautiful, richer, more successful people, which naturally triggers the need to compare. Inevitably most of us do not even remotely measure up to those, sometimes unreachable, standards. Bear in mind though, the world needs you to be you, not the replica of another human being,however richer or more successful than you.Instead,explore your talents, sharpen your skills, work on yourself and dare to put yourself out there. It is easy to compare and succumb to jealousy. I know from experience, it is easy to  make excuses and break your promises to others and yourself. But at what cost?

Being authentically you, keeping your promises and integrity takes work and tenacity,yes. But the reward of internal peace and pride towards yourself is something too invaluable to replace by petty feelings and void promises. Be brave, be vulnerable and turn yourself into someone you can truly look up to.

With love, 

Lia

p.s. It's Friday, so I decided to share my Friday playlist with you. It's loaded with songs that make me feel good whenever my mood goes sour or if I'm just unmotivated.It's a weird mix and match but I hope you'll like it!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1ApoU119UkxL2rxj0zACpK

September Glow Up: Your Ultimate Guide to Revitalizing Mind, Body, and Soul

As the crisp September air signals the start of a new season, it brings with it the perfect opportunity for a personal glow-up. Whether you're getting ready to tackle the last quarter of the year or simply looking to refresh your routine after the summer, September offers a unique moment to focus on self-care, self-improvement, and renewal. I absolutely love all things about fall, and I'm sure there are many of you who do so as well! If you were looking for ways to have a glow up this coming season,here’s your ultimate guide to achieving that September glow-up, from mental well-being to physical rejuvenation. 

 

Reflect and Set Intentions

September is a month of transition, making it the ideal time to pause, reflect, and set new intentions. We are approaching the latter quarter of the year. Now is an auspicious time to think about the goals you want to achieve by the end of the year. Whether it’s improving your health, mental well-being,building better habits, or achieving a work-life balance, write them down. This will serve as a roadmap for your glow-up journey.

Useful tip: I have found that journaling is a highly efficient tool to track your progress and stay motivated. Daily or weekly reflections can help you stay aligned with your goals.

 

 

 Revamp Your Skincare Routine

As the seasons change, so should your skincare routine.This is a must for both men and women. The cooler weather in September can make our skin feel dry and dull, so it's essential to switch up your products for optimal results.

• Hydration is Key: Opt for a heavier moisturizer to combat dryness.
• Exfoliate Regularly: This helps to remove dead skin cells and reveal a fresh, glowing complexion.
• Sunscreen Isn’t Just for Summer: Continue to protect your skin from UV rays, even in cooler weather.

DIY Skincare Tip: Try a honey and yogurt mask for a natural, hydrating boost.I have personally tried this and I can assure you it works miracles!

Fall into Fitness

If you're anything like me,the lazy days of summer might have led to a less consistent fitness routine, which has led to the unfortunate gain of a few extra kilos.September is the perfect time to get back on track. With the weather being neither too hot nor too cold, outdoor activities become much more enjoyable, so you could start by taking more frequent walks, alone or with friends. As long as you add more movement into your daily routine, you'll immediately notice the difference both in your body as well as in your mood and increased clarity.

• Try Something New: Whether it’s a yoga class, pilates, or a running club, now is the time to experiment with different forms of exercise.
• Set a Challenge: Consider signing up for a charity run or setting a personal fitness goal to keep you motivated. You don't even have to set the bar too high at first. Start small and work your way up to more complex and difficult goals. It's that one small step that you need to take. The rest will take care of itself. 

Fitness Hack: Again, if you're anything like me,time can be tight.Try to incorporate short, high-intensity workouts that can be done in 20 minutes or less. Even a small amount of movement per day is better than doing nothing.

Nourish from Within

What you put into your body has a huge impact on how you feel and look. September’s harvest brings a bounty of nutritious foods that can enhance your glow-up and make you feel amazing in your body.

• Seasonal Superfoods: Try to incorporate apples, pumpkins, sweet potatoes, and leafy greens into your meals. These foods are packed with vitamins and antioxidants that promote healthy skin and boost energy levels.
• Hydrate: I know all too well that cooler weather can sometimes reduce our thirst, but staying hydrated is key for maintaining glowing skin and high energy levels.If you can't consume 3 litres of water daily, than aim for the 8 glasses of water recommended by doctors and nutritionists alike.
  

Recipe Idea: I am a big fan of soups. A great idea is to make a warm bowl of butternut squash soup with a side of kale salad.It is a perfect fall meal that’s both comforting and nutritious. If, however, you do not have access to these foods or if they are not your cup of tea, any kind of soup is amazing for those cool fall evenings!

 

 

 

 Declutter and Organize

It is an indisputable fact that a clear space leads to a clear mind. September is a great time to declutter your home, workspace, and last, but not least, your digital life.

• Tidy Up: You know it all too well. Our closets are full of clothes that are either too old,too small or just not useful anymore.No better place to start —switch out summer clothes for fall attire and donate items you no longer wear.
  
• Digital Detox: Clean up your inbox, organize your desktop, and unfollow accounts that don’t bring you joy or inspiration.

Organizing Tip: I find  the “three-box method” for decluttering extremely useful: one box for items to keep, one for donations, and one for things to toss.

 

 

Mindful Practices for Mental Glow

A glow-up isn’t just about looking good—it’s about feeling good too.After all, our glow-up starts from within.Aim to incorporate mindful practices into your daily routine to nurture your mental well-being.This, in turn, will have a ripple effect in all other areas of your life, making it more wholesome and healthy.

• Meditation: Even just five minutes a day can reduce stress and improve focus.So far, I have managed to meditate for 10 minutes daily. It's worked wonders in my mood and efficiency! 
  
• Gratitude: Start a gratitude journal where you write down three things you’re thankful for each day. This simple practice can shift your mindset and boost positivity.I can definitely attest to this. I have a previous blog post on the subject of gratitude, with much more of the benefits it brings. I hope it is of use to you.
  
• Gratitude and goal setting
• 11 Journalling benefits and prompts to get you started 
•  
  

Mental Health Tip: In our technology crazed era, try to limit your screen time, especially on social media, to reduce anxiety and comparison.It has been proven that excessive exposure to screens is conducive to limited focus span and depression, among others.Opt to have a discussion with a friend, call someone you haven't spoken to in a while, or just go out for a walk.

 

 

Refresh Your Wardrobe

With the changing season, September is the perfect time to refresh your wardrobe. Embrace the cozy, stylish vibes of fall fashion.

• Layer Up: Invest in a few versatile pieces like a chic trench coat, cozy sweaters, and stylish boots.
• Play with Textures: Mix and match different fabrics like wool, leather, and denim to create a dynamic look.
• You can also play around with colors or techniques with your nails or make-up or try a fresh, fall hairstyle.
  

Style Tip: Don’t be afraid to experiment with autumnal colors—deep burgundies, burnt oranges, and forest greens are all the rage this season.

 

 Conclusion: Embrace the September Glow-Up!

September offers a golden opportunity to reset, recharge, and rediscover your best self. Whether you're focusing on skincare, fitness, or mental well-being, remember that a true glow-up comes from within. Embrace this month as a time to nurture your body, mind, and soul, and get ready to receive compliments as you radiate confidence and positivity for the rest of the year!

 

With love and light,

Lia

 

 

 

Sunday Musings: When you find yourself at the end, there's already a new beginning in sight

 

It is safe to say that this summer has been my most unproductive yet. I was utterly unable to discipline or even coax my unruly and disorganised mind into bringing all the plans I had made after schools closed to fruition. 

Now, nearing the end of the summer holidays, the only thing I can say I did successfuly was finding amazing music and choreographies, watching soul-stirring movies and dramas and doing a bit of reading. At other times I would just blankly stare at the night sky, thinking of nothing and everything at once, however ridiculous or paradoxical that may sound. I can only justify this as being the result of an exhausting school year, plus all the other obligations that needed handling.Maybe it was my body's or brain's defense mechanism,forcing me to rest for a change.

Another new beginning is around the corner with schools opening in a few weeks. It is only now that I can bring myself to do more and prepare for the school year ahead plus  starting all other ventures I had planned on doing. However much I chastised myself, there really isn't much to be done about it now. I decided to consider it as precious time spent on me, as that seemed to be what my body needed most.

I daresay I have no regrets (well, maybe a few...) being this lazy. With body and soul fully re-energised  I can view this new beginning in a more positive - and productive- way. Fully embracing this fresh start, even though I feel a bit insecure and deal with mixed feelings, I can humbly  say I am ready. 

Enough self-reflecting and rambling. I 'll leave you with the wise and profound words of Jennifer Ritchie Payette:

  "It’s humbling to start fresh. It takes a lot of courage. But it can be reinvigorating. You just have to put your ego on a shelf & tell it to be quiet.” 

Have an amazing Sunday evening everyone.

Lia

 

 

Word of the day:Motivation

 "Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear"

Those are wise words indeed and I know them to be true from experience. My personal nemesis, and I know it to be true for many people as well, is not fear per se.It's finding the willpower to do what must be done. It's what we also refer to as motivation. What do you do when that crucial ingredient to success is lacking in you?

First of, it's important to acknowledge that motivation cannot and will not be found in situations which are too comfortable or pleasant to you. When human beings are too comfy they become complacent and self-indulgent and become oblivious to their dreams and goals. It's the adverse, the difficult, even offensive circumstances that stir up the fire in your belly to get your motivation engine roaring again. I hate to admit it, but that also goes for me as well. I can get completely immersed in my music, movies and all things that are pleasurable and I completely forget what goals I set out to achieve. Excuses I can easily come up with, just like anyone else, as to why I am not going after what I truly desire instead of slacking off. To be fair and objective, it is basic human nature to want to run as far away as you can from pain and discomfort. It's how the human race survived from saber tooth tigers after all. But herein lies the paradox. It is normal to secure safety and comfort to ensure survival but not to the extent that it holds you down and away from going after your dreams ans pursuits.

With that being said, it has been my experience that motivation is born from having a grand,lofty dream for your future. A dream so big it will make you jump out of bed in the morning and be prepared to work hard and do anything it takes to realise it. But there is a catch.You can expect there will be difficult days, painful obstacles and harsh comments.The biggest opponent is you yourself as the urge to fall back on your previous self indulgence is always there.It is persistent and extrelemely tempting.Running from painful experiences is basic human survival instinct as mentioned above.It takes strength and resolve to see past the painful emotions, see past your need for comfort  and use them as fuel to fire up your motivation so you can work relentlessly until you achieve success. 

To finish this short post, allow me to ask you the following questions:

-Do you remember a time in your life when you tried to avoid painful emotions? What did you learn from that experience?
- Are you perhaps experiencing a painful phase in your life right now? How could you use these uncomfortable, painful emotions to fuel your vision?

As much as I love being comfortable, I know first hand how excruciatingly painful it feels to be stuck in a place where you know you don't belong. It takes courage, every single day to choose to do something, even if small, in the direction of your vision. But I know it is worth it. So, no matter how messy my journey will be, even if my goal is not achieved the way had initially envisioned it, I know I will like the person I will have become much more that the person I am now. 

I hope this post will be of use to you.

Love and light, 

Lia 

11 Quotes that'll make you appreciate the value of learning and education

 We are on the cusp of another school year here in Greece. It is a dreaded moment for many students, signalling the end of carelessness and freedom to do as they please. For us teachers it is the beginning of an endless effort to get our students to appreciate the value of the knowledge we're offering while at the same time we're called upon to also play the role of parent/confidante/psychologist/negotiator/problem solver. We wear many hats but, however exhausting it may be at times, it is an assignment I joyfully carry out.

 

 

Much ink has been spilled, aiming to convey and highlight the significance of education and learning in our lives.Below I share some of the best in my view, from some of the most respected and celebrated human beings, each in their own field of expertise. Let's dive right in, shall we?

 

 

1.

Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.

-Benjamin Franklin

 

 

 

2.

Learning never exhausts the mind.

-Leonardo da Vinci

 

 

 

3.

The beautiful thing about learning is that nobody can take it away from you.

-B.B. King

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4.

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.

- Henry Ford

5.

We now accept the fact that learning is a lifelong process of keeping abreast of change. And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn.

-Peter Drucker

6.

One learns from books and example only that certain things can be done. Actual learning requires that you do those things.

-Frank Herbert 

7.

Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.

-Anthony J. D'Angelo 

8.

One hour per day of study in your chosen field is all it takes. One hour per day of study will put you at the top of your field within three years. Within five years you'll be a national authority. In seven years, you can be one of the best people in the world at what you do. 

-Earl Nightingale  

9.

True teachers are those who use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students to cross;then, having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create their own.

-Nikos Kazantzakis 

10.

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.

-Alvin Toffler

11.

Change is the end result of all true learning.

-Leo Buscaglia

What captivated me in all these quotes is the emphasis on the undeniable reality that lifelong learning and growth is what is required these days. By becoming a lifelong learner, one stays abreast of changes in society, grows both as a person and as a successful professional. Simultaneously a love for learning ensures that we  maintain a healthy and flexible mind.It is also stressed that in order to be able to adapt and keep up with the rapid changes and developments, one has to become accustomed to unlearning any obsolete knowledge and relearning, thus securing both the desired growth as a person but also becoming much more successful -and useful- in their chosen field.

We have come a long way from the time when all it took was the knowledge of reading and writing to be considered an educated person. A lifelong adaptability and growth is required now in learning and education, and we as teachers are responsible for our students' growth, for as long as they are in our care.A heavy but honorable duty.

That's all for today. Let's make this an educational, productive school year, but also one of joy, inclusion, tolerance and love.We need more of these in our uncertain times.

As always, sending you ripples of positivity and love,

Lia 💓😀

Enjoy the silence

 Silence is the great teacher, and to learn its lessons you must pay attention to it. There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge, and stability that come from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence. – Deepak Chopra

It is undeniable that today's world is insufferably noisy. Our everyday obligations aside, blaring television sets and sound systems, heavy traffic and the constant pinging from the notifications on our phones are ceaseless. This creates extended periods of time our brain is in stress mode, which in turn leads to chronic stress, insomnia, you name it.

 

Today I would like to challenge you to come out of your comfort zone and carve out one hour-or if you are daring, three hours- of silence. It can be any time of your choosing, morning or evening.Go technology free and switch off  your computer, ipad, phone, even your music player. Concentrate on the inner silence.No doubt your hand will reflexively reach for your phone but try to resist the urge. We are all so addicted to watching reels, consuming what the media feeds us. I am as guilty as anyone else on this. I work for hours on my computer and I do love watching a good movie on TV or listening to my favourite music. Our lives are imbued with electronics and media-related information. And while it cannot be avoided altogether, it would be a healthy and balanced choice to set some boundaries once or twice every week, for the sake of our overall well-being.

What can you do with one to three hours of  technology silence? Well, I've got a list ready for you, with activities we have thrown in the river of oblivion.Let's remember some of them, shall we? 

*Read a good book, whether fiction or non-fiction, it's up to you.

 

 *Take a long bath and enjoy the silence.Light some candles and focus on your breathing. It works wonders if you want to de-stress. 

*Draw or paint. I've recently started drawing again. Actually, I used to be quite good and I plan on spending more time on it. Who knows what will come out of it? I can tell you it relaxes me and gives me great satisfaction and joy.

*Make some tea or pour yourself some wine and sit on your balcony, garden or in your living room. Surrender to the silence and heed any insights or a-ha moments that come up for you.

*Do some yoga or work out.

*Spend some time on self care. Hair, nails, massage, whatever you like, or need. It will be a time well spent with yourself and for yourself.

*Hug your spouse, your children and just sit together. Maybe have a conversation, play a game or read together. 

*Go out for a long walk. If you're lucky to live close to nature, take a walk in woods. If you live in a concrete city, go to the park or just a walk in your neighbourhood. Either way, you'll be benefitted both physically and mentally.

Silence is a great teacher and a source of valuable insights. A couple of times per week in silence should benefit you immensely and you'll be grateful that you did.

I'm really hoping you'll give this a go. It's not easy I know. It's just so sad though that we consciously have to make such an effort to turn off all electronics and do all those things that once gave us so much joy and pleasure.Now is as good moment as any to start. 

Well, that's all from me. I sincerely hope you'll try setting those boundaries and find yourself again in things and activities that have been set aside if not altogether forgotten.

As always, sending you ripples of positivity and love,

Lia💓
   

Inner peace: a dreamer's wish or attainable goal?

 

 

 Painting: Inner Peace by Brenda Morgado

 

 

 

Connect to the inner peace within. 

 Those were the words of the yoga instructor during my yoga practice this morning. Even while being totally blissed out, the memory of me during this summer flashed through my mind.

 What?Inner peace? Really? I most likely resembled a boiling pot of water threatening to blow its lid off while waiting for any announcement regarding my placement. Thankfully, all turned out extremely well. But until that moment I was utterly unable to feel calm, much less peaceful. 

Isn't it remarkable how disconnected most of us are from even a faint connection with our inner peace? The many obligations we all have to carry and see through on a daily basis weigh us down to such an extent that we end up disconnecting from ourselves, forgetting our needs and desires, even who we truly are. It is so sad to witness this in myself as well as in other people in my life.This disconnected state deprives us not only of the necessary balance needed for our brains and bodies to function optimally but also robs us of fully experiencing life. Our default setting has become to merely exist, performing, doing, as if our conscious mind is absent from our bodies. We have forgotten what it feels like to just be, fully present in our bodies and our lives.

There are numerous ways to reconnect to that feeling of inner peace. Most are mindfulness practices that have been thoroughly analysed in previous posts, like

* meditation

* keeping a daily gratitude journal

* yoga

* setting daily time aside for yourself, even time for solitude. 

*Going back to nature holds amazing benefits for overall well-being and gaining inner peace. 

*Practising forgiveness towards ourselves and others is a determining factor.We all know how excruciating it is to hold a grudge, it can quite literally eat away at us.  

*Accept what you can't change or control.This is a biggie for me. Even today when I'm presumably older, and therefore wiser 😂... I still find it immensely difficult to relinquish control and just accept what is. I still have some more growing up to do it seems...

There are undoubtedly many more and you can choose which fits you best. As long as you are able to reconnect with your inner peace, it's still a win for you, whatever way you chose to get there.

Below you'll find some of my favourite quotes on inner peace.

1.

"When you do the right thing,you get the feeling of peace and serentity associated with it. Do it again and again."   -Roy T. Bennett

2.

Painting:Grateful by Luzdy Rivera

 

 

 

 

 

"It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of  the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things you lack."   -Germany Kent

3.

 

 

Painting:Forgiveness by Adele Joubert

 

 

 

 

 

Inner peace can be reached only when we practise forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past,and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions." - Gerald G. Jampolsky 

4.

 

 

Painting of George Michael by Richard Garnham 

 

 

 

 

 

"You'll never find peace of mind till you listen to your heart." - George Michael

5.

 

 

 

 

Painting :Four stages of acceptance by Ryan Louder 

 

 

 

 

 "Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them;that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." - Lao Tzu

 

There are many, many more such quotes, words of people far wiser than me, that you can seek out if you wish to delve further into the subject. These speak to me on a personal level, that's why I chose to share them with you. Hopefully they'll be of help to you in some small way. 

Well, that's all for today's post. It is my sincere wish you find something in it that will serve you in some way. Enjoy a calm, loving weekend!💓😀

Sending you endless ripples of positivity and love, 

Lia

 

Word of the day: Dream

 

Somewhere I've read that  most of the elements of our bodies were formed in the stars over the course of billions of years and multiple star lifetimes.It is even possible that some of our hydrogen and lithium, which our body contains in trace amounts, originated from the Big Bang.It would be safe to assume that we are made of stardust, part of the universe itself. Dare I take it a step further and claim, based on the previous statement, that the dreams we have and make for our lives are a way for the universe to manifest itself on this plane? Too philosophical for you? Maybe.Still, us humans are capable of way more than we give ourselves credit for and dreams are the vehicle through which our civilisations have emerged.

Take all the amazing accomplishments since man appeared on the face of the Earth. It started with the discovery and harnessing of fire, the birth of language, the development of tools and metallurgy. Then came the transition from hunter/gatherer to agricultural communities 15.000 to 20.000 years ago.Then came the first evidence of counting 50.000 years ago and the subsequent discovery of Mathematics. Man became aware of the sun, moon and planets and used them as the basis for clocks, calendars and navigation. The scientific revolution that was kickstarted by Copernicus with his his assertion of the sun-based cosmos. The 17th and 18th century saw the emergence of the steam engine and the Industrial Revolution, which led seamlessly to the digital revolution that started in the mid 80s of the previous century. 

It is vital to mention the7 wonders of ancient architecture like the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Colossus of Rhodes. Think also of the Parthenon, the Taj Mahal. Even today's modern architecture can boast of many jewels, like the Palm Islands in Dubai or Incheon's airport in South Korea.Of course all the facets of human art and creativity are mindblowing and varied. Music, theatre, acting and film making, painting, sculpting, all the arts have much beauty and the greatness of the human spirit to show over the centuries.

What I'm getting at with this extensive list is that what is now tangible and visible, once was but a thought, a dream in someone's mind. It came alive only through conscious action and work, passion and tenacity.At the core is always the dream, the desire to produce something beyond oneself, to create beauty.No person alive on this planet today is exempt from this. From the moment we become self-aware we dream,we desire to create and upgrade ourselves and the world we inhabit.

 

 I would like to invite you to do a journalling exercise with me.

Today, take your journal and visualise. Who do you want to be in 5 years' time? What kind of life do you want to have?Write a letter to your future self 5 years from now. As you are writing, set aside all the limitations you have placed upon yourself. You may think you are not deserving of certain things or you believe it is too far fetched for you to have certain aspirations and desires. Release those limits and allow yourself to write in a state of flow, without overthinking. Believe everything is possilble.Connect to your heart. What is most important to you? Allow anything that needs to come through to manifest itself.When you've finished, you can either save it and read it again sometime in the future. Some people burn these letters,thus setting this dream free into the universe. You do whatever feels right for you. I still have some entries like these in my journal and it's interesting to recognise patterns emerging or just recognising how far I've come in my life.It is a beautiful practice, not to mention liberating, in more ways than one.

I hope you will take me up on my invitation and allow yourself to dream today. Just let yourself free. You never know what might come through for you!

 

 

 

 

 

As always, sending you endless ripples of positivity and love,

Lia        

Why it is important to be proactive

 Recent unpleasant events in my life have highlighted the importance of being proactive. A failure on my part to plan better ahead led me to agonising moments of waiting for my placement. A failure to tend to her health ahead of time led a person dear to me to the surgery room for the fifth time. So many of us default to reacting to adverse present situations, laying the blame on our bad luck,our past, a relative, lack of time, money or education. In hindsight, it always becomes abundantly clear that it was our failure to plan ahead of time that has led us to that moment of adversity.

 

Viktor Frankl famously said that between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose. As human beings we are responsible for our own lives. Our behaviour and in consequence our entire life is based on our decisions and not the conditions in which we live.We can subdue our feelings to our values and principles, therefore we can take initiative and the responsibility to make things happen the way we want to. In contrast, when we allow our feelings, our upbringing, other people and external conditions to dictate our behaviour and our present, it means that we essentially live in the past,we choose to empower them to control us.In this way, we become reactive rather than proactive. 

 

 

 “𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓊𝒸𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝒸𝒾𝓇𝒸𝓊𝓂𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓈. 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝒶 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓊𝒸𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝒸𝒾𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈.”

It is of the utmost importance that we maintain control of our life by being responsible, using our resourcefulness and initiative to find solutions, seize opportunities or make things happen in a way that is in our best interest.Moreover, a change in the way we use language is necessary. Reactive language can- and more often than not-will become a self-fulfilling prophecy, making us feel victimised by our life's circumstances and not in control of our destiny.Here are a few examples, according to Stephen Covey:

There's nothing I can do --> Let's look at my alternatives

That's just the way I am--> I can choose a different approach

He makes me so mad --> I control my own feelings

They won't allow that --> I can create an effective  presentation

I have to do that--> I will choose an appropriate response

I can't --> I choose

I must --> I prefer

If only --> I will  

 

Some simple ways  to be more proactive are

*Get crystal clear on what you want in life and set goals - whether it's a three month, a yearly or three-year goal- and work hard at achieving them. Take responsibility for how your life turns out.

*Take control of your daily habits and actions. For example, your future health is reliant on your self-care routines- daily workouts, a healthy nutrition, regular visits to your doctor, setting time aside for relaxation, fun and creativity - all these contribute to being a healthier version of you when you get older. Same goes for your performance at school or at work. Organise your study or  work schedule well in advance, then work consistently at it until your goal is met. If your financial situation is less than ideal, create a plan to earn more, start saving or start spending more frugally.  

*If there is an event coming up that you're feeling anxious about, try to anticipate the possible problems/outcomes and create solutions ahead of time. For example, if you have a speaking engagement or presentation, and like me, you're really nervous about speaking in public, make sure your presentation is well-written,practise for it thoroughly and visualise that your presentation is a massive success, thus setting up your brain for the most optimal function when the time comes.

𝓑𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝓽𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓮. 𝓘𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓸𝓰𝓷𝓲𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓸𝓶 𝓽𝓸 𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓫𝓪𝓼𝓮𝓭 𝓸𝓷 𝓹𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓲𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓿𝓪𝓵𝓾𝓮𝓼 𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝓸𝓷 𝓶𝓸𝓸𝓭𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷. 𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓹𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓿𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓼, 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓮, 𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓵𝓪𝓶𝓮 𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓼.
-𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓒𝓸𝓿𝓮𝔂

The book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey is a treasure trove of wisdom and efficiency advice. I highly encourage you to read it, it is well worth your time and it will change your life for the better if you heed the advice it so generously conveys.It is available in all stores.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even the longest life is short, so make it a life well-lived, the way you want it to be. Get into a proactive state of mind and start designing it today. Everything in your life is in your control, so take responsibility and initiative for it. Be an agent, not a victim. Be the driver of your life, not a passenger. Start designing your life now!

As always, sending you endless ripples of positivity and love,

Lia 💓

The Art of Choosing to diversify our daily lives

WORD OF THE DAY:CHOOSE

 

 

It is well-known to all of us that free will or choice is a conscious act of determining our course of action-or inaction at any given moment of our lives.Our choices shape how we experience our lives and bring us to where we are in the present moment. Every one of us is in their present circumstances is the product of the total sum of their past choices.So, whether we believe it or not, we are in control of a large portion of our lives, no matter how much we like to complain and play victim.

 Painting:Choices by AnthonyStollings

 

We are  creatures of comfort and habit. Once we settle too firmly in our comfort zone, it may be too exhausting to venture out of it.Why do something different/difficult/uncomfortable when I can just be comfy and safe? I'll dare you today to challenge yourself. For a mind to remain flexible and functioning at higher, more optimal levels it needs to experience the new, the different, the unfamiliar. Not only will it open new pathways to your life experience, it will also enhance your cognitive flexibility, which is a great advantage when life trows a curveball at you.

I have listed some examples below.By no means is it an exhaustive list but rather a guide to get you started.

*If you enjoy yoga as much as me, you might be tempted to stick to it for life. If you choose to try something different,why not try belly dancing, weight lifting or even Quigong? If these sound too otherworldly for you, why not opt for a long walk in nature?

*Instead of binging on Netflix shows, try playing board games with the family, going out together or just read a book. All are great ways to get you out of that passive ingestion of televised stupor. Don't get me wrong,it is fine to do so in rational doses. It's time to do something else,however, when you seek them out like a drug addict. Definitely a red flag. Same goes of course for the constant scrolling on your phone. Ditch the thing and go do something more creative.

*Colour, sketch, draw, take photographs, write in your journal or why not, start writing that book that's been nagging at you for ages now. Anything to get the creative juices flowing, which in turn does wonders for your cognitive and mental state and makes you feel rejuvenated and more optimistic.

*Instead of cooking the same recipes over and over again, get bold and daring. Try your hand at a different recipe. It could be a more difficult one or it could be a recipe from the cuisine from another country. Whichever you choose to do, you will definitely get an increased sense of satisfaction from producing a different dish for yourself and your family. Variety is key.

 * Go out to watch an art exhibition, a theatrical play or just an amazing concert. We have forgotten art and how to appreciate it, favouring technology over all else. Educate your mind, nourish your soul and let the chills of fine artistry overwhelm your heart. Technology is extremely useful but it cannot replace everything.We tend to forget this in the daily hustle and bustle, unfortunately.

*Learn something new. A new language, pottery, gardening, cooking or maybe you've always wanted to be a master coder, computer programmer or a content writer. Take lessons in photography or painting and stun the world with your art. Awaken the artist within!  

Remember, you are the captain of your ship and master of your fate. Make choices that are benefitting you. Get out of the rut, be courageous and bold, follow the path less travelled. You'll never know what's in store for you if you do.You already know what's in store for you if you don't, so you've got nothing to lose but everything to gain.

Well, that's all for today.Which of the suggestions above struck that special chord in your soul? Let me know!

As always, sending you endless ripples of positivity and love,

Lia   

 

The thorny road towards self-acceptance

 

 

 

“𝓘𝓯 𝔀𝓮 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯-𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓸𝓻 𝓫𝓸𝓭𝔂 𝓪𝓬𝓬𝓮𝓹𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓱 𝓲𝓼, 𝔀𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓷𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓿𝓮𝓼. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓫𝓸𝓭𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓵𝔂 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓷𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝓮𝔁𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓪𝓶𝓮. 𝓘𝓯 𝔀𝓮 𝓫𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯-𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓱 𝓸𝓷 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪𝓼 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻-𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪𝓼 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓫𝓸𝓭𝓲𝓮𝓼, 𝔀𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓻𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓻 𝓬𝓸𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓫𝓸𝓭𝔂 𝓸𝓫𝓼𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓶𝓮.” — 𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓼𝔂 𝓚𝓲𝓷𝓰

 

 

I cannot bring to mind a moment where I fully accepted myself. I was always full of loathing and disapproval of my body and my face. Sure, there were and are people in my life that told me that I am beautiful and that I look just fine. But my inner critic was always there in the background, snapping all those negative words at me that held me hostage in a distorted self-image and made me prey to a never-ending quest for external acceptance,with horrible consequences to myself and others. For nearly fifty years I allowed it to control the field and consequently my decisions and my entire life.

It's been a short while this has changed. I still do not look upon myself with absolute and unconditional self-acceptance.With a new-found sense of self-respect and confidence I have,however, started to look at myself with a sense of understanding and compassion, observing myself as if I am on the outside. I notice what needs to be worked on and what is acceptable as is. This is my new relationship to myself. Menopause was very helpful in this, by adding kilos to my body that are just too stubborn to removed without a fight. It's not easy, it's a bittersweet feeling. But there is a wisdom to it. How ironic, that I should reach my fifties to garner some acceptance for who I am, both inside and on the exterior.

Some people are more self-accepting than others. It is known of course, that our reserves of self-love and self-acceptance -or lack of it- are built mostly by our parents or caregivers, thus shaping to a great extent what kind of adults we are likely to become. I see no need to elaborate more nor do I think it necessary to start listing reasons as to why a person ends up with low self-acceptance or starting a blame game or pity party. I have come to look down on victim mentality, having played the victim for decades myself.Too long if you ask me, but no more.

 

I would prefer to find the silver lining and seek solutions. Examine how your levels of self-acceptance could gradually be increased, because there is no magical elixir to make you go from an absolute self-loathing victim to a being of supreme self-acceptance. Let's have a look at some of the techniques that worked for me.

 

 

1. Gratitude. I have spoken about the significance of gratitude in numerous of my posts. Make a choice to write down daily in your journal three to five things you are grateful for about yourself. Be as detailed as possible. This will greatly help you with focusing on the positive traits of your body and personality instead of the negative. Look not only for the things that are positive. Be even more grateful for your perceived flaws or the parts of you that you believe to be ugly as well.It is a tremendous shift in your thinking, and a profound life lesson. I can speak from my own experience.

2. Form a support system. Think of the people that are in your circle of friends and acquaintances, those you spend most of your time with.Then determine whether these people contribute negatively to your way of thinking or positively. Decide whether it would be possible to spend less time with them or remove them from your vicinity altogether. I do realise that it is not always possible with a negative family member, do try though, to not allow these people unrestricted access to you. Choose instead to have positive-minded people around you, those that are beneficial to your mindset,well-being and growth.    

 

3.Meditation.  A frequent meditation practice is particularly helpful in removing those pesky, spiteful comments from your inner critic, thus improving your mood and helping you view yourself in a more positive light. Additionally, the increased sense of inner peace and well-being helps in decreased self-criticism and a much-improved self-image.

   4. Challenge your negative beliefs. A great method to do this is to take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. On one side write down all negative beliefs you have about yourself or things you perceive to have done wrong. Once you're finished with that, go over your list and challenge each belief by asking yourself "Is this true?" In the second column replace each belief/statement with a more positive one. It's a very effective method and will not only allow you to examine your self-image and personality from a more objective scope but it will grant you some grace and self-compassion as well. 

5. Exercise self-forgiveness and self-compassion. To fully accept yourself, it is essential that you forgive yourself for being so harsh on yourself and show yourself some compassion, for you did not know any better. Once you have effectively shifted from a negative belief about yourself to a more positive one as described in the written exercise above, forgive yourself for that belief. It works even better when you say it out loud to yourself. "I forgive you for..." Even better, do it in front of a mirror. It is extremely cathartic but also highly emotional, so have some tissues nearby. Again, I speak from experience. I literally bawled as I uttered all those things I forgave myself for. Such a catharsis is necessary though, as it opens up the space for  the self-acceptance you crave. The only way is through the negativity not by suppressing it. Now you are finally ready to step into your power.

 

      “𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓈𝒶𝒾𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝑜𝒹𝓎 𝓈𝑜𝒻𝓉𝓁𝓎, ‘𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹.’ 𝐼𝓉 𝓉𝑜𝑜𝓀 𝒶 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝒷𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒽 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝓅𝓁𝒾𝑒𝒹, ‘𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓌𝒶𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓂𝓎 𝓌𝒽𝑜𝓁𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈.” — 𝒩𝒶𝓎𝓎𝒾𝓇𝒶𝒽 𝒲𝒶𝒽𝑒𝑒𝒹

That's all for today. I hope this post is in some tiny way useful to you!

Sending you endless ripples of positivity and love, 

Lia 💓

 

20 quotes that might inspire you to start dancing with your fears

 Fear.

No individual born on this planet is immune to it.  Sometimes it is a very helpful instinct that protects us and keeps us out of harm's way. On other occasions we allow our negative thoughts and emotions to take control over us. Our inner voice then becomes a barrier that keeps us trapped in inertia, stuck in a rut instead of pursuing the things we desire and becoming who we truly know ourselves to be. 

As a very insecure and fearful child, teenager and adult well into my forties, I was so scared I did not dare do much outside the known and safe limits of my comfort zone, I know firsthand what it feels like to be entrapped in your own fear. Oh, I had lofty dreams and I aspired to change the world, sure. But I simply could not muster the strength to face my fears head-on and fight them. I'm talking about the irrational fears, the nagging, nasty voices that existed solely in my head, not in the physical world. What if people would laugh at me if I posted my thoughts?What If I was not good enough? 

After a couple of years of meditation, yoga, journalling and doing the inner work, and the encouragement of friends and family, I realised I need not run from my fear. I embraced it. I looked it in the eye. It roared angrily at me. I was shivering but I was determined, so I roared right back at it, as loud as I could. Suddenly it seemed smaller and not quite as intimidating. I decided to invite it for a dance. Since then me and my fears do everything together. I dare do what I fear. I do it while scared to death. I'm almost at the end of my postgraduate course but I haven't gone bungee jumping yet and  taking my driver's licence is still something I am debating. But I'm going to do it anyway. It's a dance, right? So I figured, why not enjoy it at least?

As a lifelong bookworm I absolutely love quotes and they have been a tremendous help in overcoming or rationalising some of my craziest fears. Below I list some of my favourites.  

 

1."You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."  -Eleanor Roosevelt

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. "If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."  -Dale Carnegie 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3."The amateur believes that he must first overcome his fear;then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome.He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist." - Steven Pressfield  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. "What you fear is what you must conquer." - Lailah Gifty-Akita 

 

5. "I learned that courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." - Nelson Mandela

 

 

 

 

 

 

6."There is no illusion greater than fear." - Lao Tzu 

7. "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you." - Saint Thomas 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8."The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." - Franklin D. Roosevelt 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9. "Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly." - William Shakespeare   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10. "You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except the mind." - Dale Carnegie

 

 

 

 

 

11. "What we need to do is say, "What's the smallest, tiniest thing that I can master and what's the scariest thing that I can do in front of the smallest number of people that can teach me how to dance with the fear?" Once we get good at that, we just realize that it's not fatal. And it's not intellectually realize - we've lived something that wasn't fatal. And that idea is what's so key- because then you can do it a little bit more."  - Seth Godin    

 

12. "When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

13. "Fears are educated into us and can, if we wish, be educated out." -Karl Augustus Menninger   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

14. "We are more often frightened than hurt;and we suffer more from imagination than reality." - Seneca

 

 

 

 

 

15. "Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire." - Dale Carnegie

16. "One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't." - Henry Ford

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

17. "When you are thinking about doing something and it feels scary, when it feels like this big lion is waiting at the finish line and he's roaring and he's ferocious and he's going to tear you apart....you should just run toward that lion anyway. Run to the roar."  -Tina Essmaker    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

18. "Courage is the power of the mind to overcome fear." - Martin Luther King Jr. 

 

 

 

 

 

19. "Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyse me". -Isabel Allende  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

20. "I have learnt over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear;knowing what must be done does away with fear." - Rosa Parks  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are numerous more quotes on fear and each is as wise as the above. I quoted the ones that spoke to me more, that were unique to me. Fear is our permanent dancing companion for life and it is not as insurmountable or intimidating as we make it out to be. If you constantly hear your fear roar, do not cower; this time choose to roar louder. Brace yourself, be determined to take action nevertheless, show up as your best self and everything that you were afraid of will diminish.It's a choice like everything else in life. Choose boldly and courageously.Let your actions speak for the strength of your character and shine!

As always sending you ripples of positivity and love,

Lia